Becoming a Car Mom: Building Relationships by Loving Outside Your Interest Zone

Have you ever heard of a Koenigsegg? Nope, it’s not an egg from a Koenig hen; my son Garrett enlightened me about it when he was just five.

I’ve learned that in building relationships, sometimes we have to love outside our interest zone.

See, I’ve become a car mom. Picture being a boy mom but add an extra layer of obsession and automotive brand intelligence.

My son, now 19, has been into cars since he was knee-high. Early Saturday mornings would find he and my husband rising at ungodly hours (ugh!) to attend car meets. He was all about exotic cars—Lamborghini, Bugatti, MacLaren, Hennessey, Koenigsegg, and Pagani.

Honestly, besides Lambos, those names might as well have been a foreign language to me.

But for the love of my little dude, I tuned into the non-stop car talk. I listened and listened some more. And I learned.

I wasn’t exactly a car aficionado before this journey. I mean, any mom ever heard of a Pagani? Bugatti sounded familiar, but I thought I’d encountered it in VeggieTales. Art Bigotti, right? Not a car.   (Need help? Here’s a good gift/study guide).

Initially, the constant stream of car chatter from my little motormouth was a bit overwhelming. I had to consciously avoid getting irritated and instead focus on being intentional about engaging in the conversation.

As time rolled on, I progressed from just listening to actively participating and asking questions. My growing son oscillated between finding my questions amusing and annoying (sounds familiar), and my opinion on what cars were cool was met with mock horror. Mom has no idea what she’s talking about.

But I sensed that my active involvement in Garrett’s car world was meaningful and was really helping build our relationship.

And, oh boy, did I learn things! The variance of engine sounds, “clapped out” vs. “slammed,” why stock wheels are a bore, the significance of “tuck” and “camber”—I’ve got it down (-ish). I even know the purpose of the wing on the back of a car (to hug the road) and what “bags” are for. Maybe more details than I need, but I love knowing.

And I now have my favorite makes and models (that don’t involve crossovers or SUVs) that actually pass the Garrett-test.

The obsession might have even rubbed off a little.

Whenever I travel, I make it a point to snap pics of cool cars and text them to my son. I’ve even gone so far as chasing down cars just to capture the perfect shot. I probably have enough material to start a TikTok account—@crazedcarmom, anyone?

Sure, on the surface, my son probably thinks it’s all a bit silly, like I’m the car mom on overdrive. But deep down, I know it shows him I’m thinking about him. And if he knows that, I’m content. He’s a good sport, and I usually get a thumbs up or a “nice” when I send him car pics, unless it’s “trash.” I don’t get so many “trash” responses anymore; I can tell the difference now. He’s taught me well.

Now that I’m educated, I can actively participate in our car movie nights, enjoying films like the Fast & Furious series, Ford vs. Ferrari, and Gran Turismo (that Porsche 911 GT3 RS is at the top of my faves list—gotta get me one of those).

In one of the early drafts of our new holiday musical, True North, Santa’s sleigh was dubbed the “Christmassy Venom GT” (a la Hennessey Venom GT), as a little nod to my son. Not everyone has a kid giving them the full rundown on cars, so I ultimately took it out since Venom doesn’t exactly scream Christmas. But on our scenic design mood board, the sleigh is the North Pole version of a MacLaren P1. Let our set designer figure that one out.

So, there you have it. I didn’t always have a thing for cars, but because I love my son, I’ve learned to appreciate something new. We’ve found common ground, and as a result, we enjoy talking about much more than just cars.

Sometimes I wonder if I hadn’t put in the effort to build that foundation as a “car mom”, he might not feel as open to sharing what’s on his heart with me now.

If you’re seeking ways to build relationships—with your child, spouse, family member, or friend—maybe it’s time to love outside your interest zone. How can you intentionally dive into what makes someone else tick? Take that leap, embrace the unfamiliar, and who knows what doors might open.

I’d love to hear your experiences of stepping into someone else’s world with an open mind and heart. Learn anything cool and unusual? How did that help in building relationships?